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Features
> Unseen Christmas Tales: The Robinsons & Ramsays by
David
Paul was surprised how much he was actually looking forward to Christmas this year. He’d taken a couple of weeks off work and left Lassiter’s Hawaii in the capable hands of Jack Parker and the dependable Gary Clinton. A big family Christmas was all planned; first he’d fly down to Tasmania with Christina and Andrew to spend a few days with the triplets and little Amy, who he’d bought a ticket from New Zealand for. Then on Christmas day, they’d fly up to Brisbane where they’d meet with Paul’s father Jim, Gran Helen, sisters Lucy and Julie - and her family the Martins. Plus, they’d all get to meet the newest member of the Robinson family; Scott and Charlene’s baby son Daniel. It was set to be quite the family reunion - even Charlene’s brother Henry and his wife Bronwyn were making the journey over.
Landing in Hobart, Paul bounced off the plane with the enthusiasm of a schoolboy.
“Come on Chrissie, let’s get this show on the road!”
Carrying little Andrew, Christina was tired from the flight and a little apprehensive about her first meeting with Paul’s ex, Gail.
“Alright Paul, I’m going as fast as I can!”
****
Meanwhile in Brisbane, Jim, Helen and the Martin family had just arrived at Scott and Charlene’s house…
“Oooh isn’t he gorgeous?!” cooed Debbie over baby Daniel.
“When can I hold him?” squawked Hannah, “He’s my cousin!”.
A nervous Charlene quickly changed the subject and asked when Lucy was arriving. Jim explained she couldn’t get a flight in from Singapore until Christmas Day. As Phil, Scott, Shane, Danny, Tom, Dan and Max got stuck into some pre-dinner snacks and Julie, Maria, Edna and Moira inspected the quality of the soft furnishings; Madge and Helen took the chance to catch up over a cuppa.
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“This time of year is always hard Helen” remarked Madge as she took a moment to think about her husband Harold who had fallen into the sea and been presumed drowned a couple of years before.
“I know darling. But we’re all here for you.” comforted Helen.
“Can I feel the presents Gran!?” interrupted Hannah.
****
Gail welcomed Paul and Christina warmly into her home. There they found Cameron and Lucinda playing happily under the Christmas tree with their half-sister Amy who Gail had collected from the airport earlier that morning. Robert was sat with his back to them next to the roaring log fire. He was throwing a collection of insects into the flames.
“Hi gang!” said Paul as he sat on the floor with the kids, “I’d like you to meet your little brother Andrew.”
Amy toddled over to nervous Andrew and gave him a big hug; Cam and Lucinda asked him to come and play with their Lego. Robert turned to give Andrew a cruel stare and then returned to his fire and insects.
Concerned at this lack of interaction, Paul crawled over to Robert: “Hey, Robbie - how about we all do something a bit different?”. Robert shrugged. Paul whisked him up in his arms and gathered the rest of his brood together for a trip out in the car. This left Gail and Chrissie alone and smiling awkwardly at each other.
Paul managed to get his army of infants into Hobart’s bustling city centre. He still had some last minute Christmas shopping to do as he hadn’t bought anything for Cameron or Robert. As they walked past the shops, a Salvation Army band played carols and a jolly bespectacled fat man played the part of Father Christmas. The Robinson children were all excited at the scene.
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“Can we go and talk to Santa, Daddy?!” begged Lucinda.
“Sure, that sounds like fun.” agreed Paul.
After queuing for a while, the Robinson clan finally reached the rotund man dressed in red. Paul couldn’t quite put his finger on it but the man behind the false beard seemed oddly familiar.
“HO-HO-HO! What a big group we have here; who’s first for a chat?” said the Father Christmas. Paul introduced himself and his kids, then Cameron tried to crawl onto Santa’s knee but was pulled out of the way by Robert.
“Now now children, there’s no need to fight. There’s room on both my knees.”
So with an identical brother on each knee, ‘Saint Nick’ gleaned that Cameron wanted a cat and Robert wanted a paint box for Christmas. This was just what Paul wanted to know.
Leaning in and whispering in the Santa’s ear, Paul asked if he could make it worth his while to keep an eye on his kids for ten minutes while he runs in the shops. He then pulls out a wad of notes and flashes it about.
‘Santa’ dropped character for a moment and pompously whispered back “I don’t take bribes Mr Robinson, but The Salvation Army always welcome donations and ‘the elves’ and I would be happy to keep an eye on your children.”
Paul was taken aback; that voice, the tone, and now he looked closely, even the eyes… He knew it couldn’t be, but he could have sworn this was his old neighbour Harold Bishop.
“Claudia,” beckoned the disguised man to a middle aged chubby elf, “could you show the Robinson children to the reindeer please?”
“Okay Ted… err… Santa” replied the dozy false eared Claudia as she took the kids to look at a rather unconvincing collection of stuffed animals.
Paul thanked Ted and realised how silly he’d been to think it could be Harold. Stuffing a handful of cash into the Salvo collection box, Robinson dashed into an arts and crafts shop for some painting supplies and then grabbed the cutest kitten he could find in the nearby pet shop. Collecting his children to go home, Paul waved Ted goodbye and was once again struck with that odd nagging feeling of familiarity.
****
“I must admit, he’s a tough little sprog… for a Robinson” chortled old Dan Ramsay while trying to wrestle his finger back from his great-grandson. Edna tutted disapprovingly. At that moment Henry and Bronwyn burst in.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!” shouted Henry who was wearing a festive pair of red dungarees with white fur trim. “Where’s the sound system? I’ve done a Chrimbo mix tape.”
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Charlene hugged her brother; “What are you dressed as you dag!?” she chided.
Scott grabbed Henry’s tape and stuck it in the player. The selection of classic Christmas hits got everyone up and dancing; even Julie and Max had had enough champagne to want to rock around the Christmas tree. Phil tried to get Maria to dance, but her ‘special coffee’ had made her very sleepy. Danny spent most of the evening avoiding Debbie, who had decided he was a spunk. Sadly the evening didn’t end well as Hannah managed to knock an old photograph of Ramsay orchards off the wall, smashing the glass. This sent Dan into a tizzy and he called her a naughty little brat, which caused Julie and Hannah to stick their tongues out at Dan. Hannah went to bed swearing to get vengeance on old Mr Ramsay.
****
Christmas Day had arrived. Paul, Gail, Christina and Gail’s father Ian all watched with delight as the children unwrapped their presents. Paul was especially pleased with how well his gifts were accepted; Lucinda was over the moon with her musical jewellery box, Cameron loved his new cat, who he called ‘Molly’, and Robert set about painting a picture straight away. But unfortunately Amy, Paul, Christina and Andrew all had to leave that morning for the airport, so, as soon as the wrapping paper had been tidied away, they were jumping in the car to leave. As Christina locked little Andrew into his seat, Paul and Gail took a moment to say goodbye.
“It was good to see you again. The kids love your little visits; you‘ll have to make them more often.” said Gail warmly.
“Yeah, I need to make up for lost time. I’m really sorry about not making father’s day this year.”
“That’s OK, just try not to make promises you can’t keep. Robert seemed to take it quite hard” replied Gail.
“He’s a special boy - I’m not sure how much he likes me though…”
From inside the house, Robert came running out with his finished painting.
“Hey what have you got there Robbie?” inquired Paul.
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“It’s a painting of us Daddy.” Robert proudly held up his work which showed Paul and Gail with Lucinda, Cameron and himself.
“That’s beautiful Robert; your Great-gran Helen would be so proud.” Paul was overwhelmed that Robert had included him in the painting.
****
Five hours later, Christina, Andrew and Paul were in Brisbane with the rest of the Robinsons. It was the first time in years that Jim’s children had all been together; Jim and Helen were loving it. Lucy was showing off her modelling photos and Paul was full of stories about Amy and the triplets.
Meanwhile, Hannah was helping her mother in the kitchen when Dan shouted through for a Whisky Mac. This was the opportunity Hannah had been looking for. Running to the garage with a glass, she found a bottle labelled ‘WARNING: IF INGESTED THIS PRODUCT MAY CAUSE BRAIN TUMOURS’. She poured a little of the toxic liquid into the receptacle and then ran back to the kitchen to top it up with whisky and ginger wine. Carefully carrying the noxious cocktail through the busy living room to Mr Ramsay, Hannah didn’t count on bumping into her Uncle Paul.
“What have you got their Hannah?” questioned Paul.
“A Whisky Mac for Dan” said Hannah.
“Oh, he’s far too young to be drinking things like that,” said Paul cheekily, fully aware which Dan his niece had been referring to, and before Hannah could argue, he nabbed the drink and poured half of it down his throat.
Hannah went off to the kitchen to make another poisonous beverage but when she got there, she found Dan chatting, and drinking, with Julie.
Hannah’s evil plan was foiled, and she’d just poisoned her Uncle Paul, but he still looked healthy enough and really seemed to be enjoying his drink.
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