Title: In Sickness And In Elf
> Lyn and Oscar's Departure
by Scott Taylor, Directed
by Tony Osicka
Carmella suggests that Will’s dad could help Harold with his accounts. At the hospital, Carmella explains to Will that she’s been told that she can return to the convent. Paul imagines Rosie walking up the aisle towards him. Everyone waits as Paul hesitates before saying ‘I do’ to Lyn…
Reverend Illingworth asks Paul again if he takes Lyn to be his wife and he finally says ‘yes’. He says that he takes this beautiful woman to be his wife, as he puts the ring on her finger. They kiss and everyone in the church breathes a huge sigh of relief.
At number 24, Carmella is checking her make-up when Harold arrives home from work to have a quick cup of tea before the two of them head off to the reception. Carmella explains that Will is on his way over to collect her and Harold says that he must thank him, as he arranged to have Harold’s accounts dealt with by the prestigious Stadtler And Waldorf. He admits, though, that he isn’t sure that they deserve such a good reputation as they’d never even heard of Will’s father when Harold questioned them. Carmella admits that Will’s story about his father did seem a little odd and they begin to wonder if it’s a cover story and he’s really a spy. Will then arrives and is amazed by how beautiful Carmella looks. He asks her if everything’s ok and she says that she was wondering the same thing…
The wedding party have gathered outside the church, as Karl takes some wedding photos. Toadie brings Oscar out of the church to join them, and Paul suggests that the group say ‘step-family’ rather than ‘cheese’ as the photos are taken. As he snaps away at a safe distance, Karl is chatting to Susan about the photos, saying that they’ll be just as good as any professional could do, plus they’ll have added cynicism. Karl and Susan are both surprised that it’s ended in marriage, and Karl wonders why Paul took so long to say ‘I do’. They wonder if he was having second thoughts, but Susan then points out that he might have just been overwhelmed by the emotion, as love can do strange things to people. Karl notices that Elle is throwing rice and chastises her, pointing out that the birds eat it and it swells up in their stomachs, so Elle throws the rice at him instead. Lyn suggests that they all head to the park for some more photos, and as everyone heads off, she asks Paul what happened during the vows. He says that he had to ask himself whether he truly deserved her. She’s pleased with this answer and they share a kiss.
At number 24, Carmella is pushing Will for answers about his father’s real line of work. He hesitates for a moment, and Carmella asks if he’s thinking up another lie. He denies this and gets annoyed with her lack of trust in him, but she says that she can’t help it as he’s being so secretive. He tells her that his dad is now in a private practice and couldn’t take on Harold as a client, so he paid for another accountant to do the job because he didn’t want to let Harold down. Carmella thinks it sounds expensive and wants Will to tell Harold the truth, but he again questions her trust and wonders if she’s trying to break up with him. He thinks she might be trying to get him to dump her, and she’s shocked, asking why he’s saying these things, but he leaves, saying that they should go to the reception separately.
Everyone has gathered at the reception hall and Paul asks for quiet so that he can make a quick speech:
“I’d just like to say - thank you all for coming and spending this very, very special day with us. I know some of you thought we would never get here and for those of you who still doubt the way I feel about Lyn I’d just like to say - she means the world to me. You see, when it comes to love you don’t have to think about the way you feel, it’s just a clean cut ‘yes’ or ‘no’. See, ‘maybe’, that’s a ‘no’. ‘Could be’, that’s a ‘no’ as well. But a yes, oh God, that’s so rare and you must never, ever turn your back on it, especially when she lives on the same street as you. I’d like to propose a toast to my adorable new wife Mrs. Lynette Robinson.”
Everyone raises a toast to Lyn and then the bride and groom begin the first dance. Meanwhile, Steph and Toadie and Elle and Ned dance together, and Carmella dances with Harold. She says that Paul and Lyn look beautiful together and wonders if she’s pushed Will too far this time, as he hasn’t even spoken to her since they arrived. He walks over and hears this, and tells her that he didn’t approach her because he felt guilty. He replaces Harold as Carmella’s dance partner.
Later in the evening, Lyn and Paul are preparing to retire to their honeymoon suite. Lyn is thanking Susan for all of her help, then she goes to check on Steph and Oscar, who seems to be enjoying himself playing with the buffet. Steph tells her mum to have a wonderful time in the Maldives, as Elle tells her father that it seems like things are really going to work out this time, and she’ll manage fine on her own as she has the credit cards. As Lyn and Paul leave, she thanks everyone and they all applaud.
Outside, Lyn and Paul are in the car, as Elle, Steph, Oscar, Susan and Karl stand and wave them off. The car pulls away with ‘just married’ and some tin cans on the back of it and everyone, except Karl, happily waves them off.
Later at the bar, Elle is chasing Ned trying to find out what’s going on with Santa, who hasn’t turned up for the grotto. Ned explains that he’s been held up and they’re trying to find a replacement. Elle is momentarily distracted by a couple of elf hats moving around behind the bar, but Ned says they’re just Santa’s helpers and he said they could help themselves to drinks. As Elle leaves, she reminds Ned that it’s his job to find a new Santa and, at the same moment, Ned spots Toadie, who has overheard the conversation and quickly says that he’s not going to do it.
In their hotel suite, Lyn comes running in as she doesn’t want Paul to carry her over the threshold, worried about his leg. The share a kiss and Lyn excitedly realises that they’re actually married and she’s never been happier. She heads off to get changed into something else – the lingerie that Susan bought her – as Paul smiles.
Back at the bar, Steph arrives with Oscar and joins Toadie, Ned and Harold, asking them not to mention the word ‘mum’ just in case. Steph is disappointed to hear that Santa won’t be coming this year, at which point Toadie agrees to step in, despite Harold’s constant attempts to take the job himself. Ned then takes Toadie into the office to get changed, as Karl and Susan, who have been listening from the next table, start to wonder if something’s going on with Steph and Toadie. Susan isn’t convinced and Karl thinks she’s losing her touch. In the office, Toadie says that he’ll only dress up as Santa if Ned does something in return…
In the law practice waiting room, Santa is talking to some children and quickly hands one of them back to his mother, as he needs changing. Harold isn’t impressed and suggests that Toadie should let someone else take over. Ned calls Toadie over to the office and, inside, he complains that the elf outfit is clearly too small for him. As he emerges from the office, one of the mothers asks if she can have her photo taken with Santa’s attractive elf.
Paul is standing on the balcony outside the hotel suite when Lyn joins him and hugs him from behind. Paul turns to face her and tells her, very seriously, that he really does love her, but he also just flirted with the woman who brought the champagne. Lyn isn’t quite sure what’s going on, but Paul says that he can’t be married to her and break her heart. He admits that, with Izzy, she gave as good as she got, but he says that he’d have an affair within the first six weeks of this marriage and he kissed Rosie in the cellar. He says that if he had the chance, he’d do it again. Lyn can’t believe what she’s hearing, but Paul says that they’ve always had their doubts and she deserves better than him. He puts his hand on her cheek and says that he can only say all of this because he loves her so much, then he leaves, as Lyn stands in complete shock.
At number 24, Will and Carmella are returning from the wedding reception and they both admit that they had a lovely time together, as she apologises for pushing him into answering her questions earlier. He realises that she has something on her mind, and she admits that she’s decided not to re-enter the convent.
Back at the law practice, Toadie counts up the money they’ve raised as Ned examines the scratch marks he got from all of the mums. Steph says that they were both great, but Harold still isn’t impressed with Toadie’s ho ho ho’s. Toadie challenges Harold to do it better, at which point he does. Susan and Karl arrive, wondering why there were women in the bar talking about a stripper at Santa’s grotto, but then they spot Ned. Ned decides to get changed, but he can’t get to his clothes as Oscar and Charlie are asleep in the office. Toadie offers him the use of Karl’s old office, now Bob’s room, and Karl is disappointed that his old room is now a kennel. Susan asks about Toadie’s plans and he admits that he hasn’t decided whether to go to Colac or not, but they’re interrupted by Steph’s phone. It’s Lyn, and Steph is shocked by her news…
In the hotel suite, Lyn is sitting alone staring out of the window when Steph and Susan come running into the room. They ask what’s happened and she says that it’s nothing and that she overreacted on the telephone earlier. Susan asks if Paul has left her and Lyn says that they just had a little talk and realised that they got married for the wrong reasons. Steph and Susan are stunned, but Lyn says that she’s still got a honeymoon to go on and she’s going to take Oscar with her, then they can visit Flick and Michelle on the way back. Steph isn’t convinced by her mother’s brave face and says that, only a few hours ago, she and Paul were so happy. Lyn says that now she’s realised that the sensible thing to do is to get an annulment, but Steph tells her mum to stop protecting Paul. Lyn explains that Paul did this to protect her as he didn’t want to break her heart, then she breaks down and admits that he already has broken her heart. She starts to sob on Susan’s shoulder.
At number 22, Paul is standing in the kitchen in the dark, when Elle creeps downstairs with a hoover attachment, thinking they’re being burgled and is shocked to see her father. She asks why he isn’t on his honeymoon and he just looks vacant. Elle wonders how it could all have gone wrong so quickly. Paul says that he really loves Lyn, but he always crushes the women in his life and he couldn’t do that to Lyn. Elle wonders if it’s her fault as she always struggled to accept Lyn, but Paul says that he’s just too damaged. Elle gets angry, pointing out that Lyn would have helped him and stood by him, but he always has to hit the self-destruct button. She storms off upstairs, saying that she’s going to back to Tasmania, as she can’t stand and watch him destroy his life anymore.
The following morning, Lyn is sitting alone, contemplating the situation she’s in, when Elle arrives and apologises for her father’s behaviour. Lyn tells her not to be sorry and asks her not to be upset too. Elle says that she hates her dad for doing this, but Lyn tells her not to, as he did the right thing. Elle hugs Lyn, telling her that she would have made a wonderful step-mum and she leaves, as Steph and Susan emerge from one of the bedrooms. Susan checks that Lyn is really ready for the trip to the Maldives and Lyn insists that she is, and she won’t be lonely with Oscar there. She says that she doesn’t know what she’d have done without Steph and Susan, before hugging them both, with tears in her eyes.
On the street outside number 22, Elle is packing her cases into a taxi and leaving, as Paul begs her to stay. She tells him that she’ll be back, but only to collect the rest of her stuff. As her taxi leaves, Karl and Susan pull into the street. They stop and Steph gets out of the car and runs over to Paul. Susan tries to stop her, but Karl tells her to let Steph go. They watched, stunned, as Steph punches Paul in the mouth…