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Reference > Quotable Quotes
Here we recall some of those Neighbours lines you just wouldn't want to forget. If you have a favourite you'd like to see on this page, email us with the full quote, and episode number where possible, by clicking here.
Episode 4
Lucy: Why don't you want her to move in with Des?
Julie: Because she's not a nice girl.
Lucy: What's the difference between a nice girl, and a stripper?
Julie: Well... I like to think that I'm a nice girl... and she isn't. That's the difference.
Lucy (thoughtfully): Ohhh.
Episode 295
Mrs Mangel (to Daphne on her wedding day): You're quite a pretty girl once someone gets you into some decent clothes!
Episode 361
Laura (about Mrs Mangel): That woman would pry the lid off a coffin!
Episode 523
Hilary: You're wearing your hair like that are you?
Madge: Why, what's wrong with it?
Hilary: Oh, nothing - you just never struck me as being the adventurous type, that's all.
Episode 523
Charlene: This is going to be the best wedding ever, I just know it!
Episode 575
Harold: (on his way to dinner with Eileen) There is nothing going on. Mrs Clarke is genuinely interested in a vegetarian lifestyle.
Mrs Mangel: Vegetarian lifestyle! Mr Bishop - Eileen Clarke is interested in far more than coriander and basil - and I don't need my tea-leaves to tell me that!
Episode 661
Paul: I promise to respect you and to love you, to treasure your independence and your uniqueness as a human being, to be there when you need me and to keep the faith. To be your husband.
Gail: I promise to share with you the good times and the bad, to respect the times you need to be alone and to share the joys of being together. To care for you and to be cared for, to comfort you and to look to you for comfort, to love you and to be loved. To be your wife.
Episode 690
Jane: Is
this a good idea?
Charlene: I'm a Ramsay - we don't
think about things like that.
Episode 690
Daphne: I love you too, Clarkey...
Episode 690
Beverly: Cardiac arrest!
(nurse shocks Daphne)
Beverly: Again!... I'm sorry Des, it's not going to do any good...
Episode 724
Harold: I'm marrying the most beautiful creature on God's earth - and I want to shout it from the rooftops!
Episode 724
Madge: Now did you meet his son David?
Scott: (snigger) Yeah, he got there.
Charlene: What's he like? I bet he's a real dork!
Madge: Charlene!
Charlene: Well!
Episode 777
Harold: (after Henry finds a gun in Mrs Mangel's backyard) Well it obviously isn't Mrs. Mangel's.
Madge: Obviously. If the old bat was going to kill anybody she'd put arsenic in their tea!
Episode 786
Joe: Ping off!
Episode 788
Mrs Mangel: (to Jane) Then why did your Uncle Joe leave all those years ago, if he'd done nothing wrong?
Joe: Because when you found the gun yer did yer nana, that's why!
Episode 1523
Madge: I knew him for so long, from schooldays. I didn’t really appreciate him then, then years later, when we were married, I didn’t know how lucky I was. I know now. He was special. He was the kindest man I ever knew. Our time together was so short.”
Episode 1537
Toby: Melanie said I’m supposed to say how beautiful the bridesmaids look… well, they do. That was easy. Well, that’s all I’ve got to say except I’m glad dad finally got real and asked Melanie to marry him. If he hadn’t done it soon, I’d have asked her myself. To marry dad. Not me. Not that I wouldn’t, Mel. Thanks.
Episode
1904
Julie:>
You get away from him. Get out of this house it's your fault!
Rosemary: Oh no Julie don't!
Julie: You killed him! Dragging
him around and making him work so hard for you!
Fiona: I warned you, you and Helen,
you can blame me all you like but you know it's not true, it's
not my fault he died!
Julie: You didn't care that he
was sick all you wanted was what you could get!
Fiona: I only made him happy, you
made him miserable fighting with him all the time!
Julie: I only wanted him to see
what you were really like. Moving in on him! Dragging him around!
Fiona: You just couldn't help yourself
could you, laying down ultimatums. I told you not to. You and
Helen! Look to yourselves if anyone's to blame!
Julie: How... how dare you. You
bitch! Bitch!
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Episode 1949
Annalise: Can you smell gas?
Episode 2240
Rick: (on seeing Julie's body after the murder mystery party) ...Cool! Two bodies for the price of one!
Episode 2965
Karl: I just came to check on Helen, but I won't disturb her if she's asleep.
Hannah: She's not asleep.
Phil: What?
Hannah: She's not asleep!
Karl: (checks Helen's pulse) No, no, she's not asleep.
Episode 2965
Hannah: (watching Scott and Charlene's wedding video) Hey, when I have a wedding, can you give me one like this?
Philip: Sure. Who are you planning on marrying?
Hannah: Oh, well, Leonardo DiCaprio of course?
Philip: (laughing) Oh right... Well, he might just be rich enough for you!
Harold: Who's he? One of the local boys is he?
(Hannah and Philip laugh)
Harold: No, no, I always planned on marrying Doris Day.
Hannah: How do you remember?
Harold: (laughs) Some things you just don't forget.
Episode 3332
Drew: You want the truth, well, I'll give you the truth. I think you're pig-headed, bloody-minded, you're stubborn and you're overbearing.
Libby: Is that all?
Drew: No. I'm in love with you.
Episode 3333
Lou: Libby got problems with her scooter, has she?
Drew: Apparently.
Lou: It's as temperamental as she is. Not that she doesn't have her good points, mind you. Of course, I don't have to tell you what they are now do I?... Don't tell me the flame of unrequited love has burned itself out!
Drew: Thanks to me and my big mouth, yeah.
Lou: (excited) You told her?! And?
Drew: Well let's just say that this scooter is about as close as I'll ever
get to her.
Lou: (disappointed) Aww. No, no, no, look, it'll be alright, mate. See,
women are a bit like cars and scooters.
Drew: Are you going to say something politically incorrect?
Lou: I hope so! You see sometimes we go into a car yard, we something we
fancy and we buy it straightaway. It's not until we get it home that we realise we've got a lemon.
Drew: And this relates to Libby, how?
Lou: Well, Libby's not a quick-buy sort of girl, she's far too sensible. No, she'll test-drive that vehicle. Make sure it's exactly right before she puts
her money down.
Drew: And this relates to me, how?
Lou: You are that vehicle. Solid, dependable, not too much rust! But, it'll take her a little while to realise that.
Drew: Is this your roundabout kind of a way to tell me not to give up, or are you trying to shatter my ego here?
Lou: Interpret it as you will.
Episode 3529
Drew: I'm afraid that I have a confession.
Libby: What confession?
Drew: Well, this is a little embarrassing.
Libby: And extremely intriguing, please go on.
Drew: Would you mind, when we get married, if I wear a dress as well?
Episode 3744
Harold: I fell in love with Madge back in high school. She was feisty, self-assured and very, very beautiful. She was the most popular girl at school. I was the fat, foolish awkward boy she hardly ever noticed. See, the hero in those days was the school football captain, Lou Carpenter. So I had to worship her from afar. Oh how I worshipped her. I felt so privileged that she had chosen me; that wonderful, strong woman. Madge was a very strong personality - she was nobody's fool. And yes, I know her tongue could... but at heart, she was the most loving, caring person I’ve ever known and all those here would agree with that. And would also agree that we're better people for having known her.
Episode 4469
Izzy: Anything else to go with the sandwich?
Karl: That depends. Is it poisoned?
Izzy: Not unless Harry is trying to bump you off. You know my life's too full to bother with petty revenge.
(Karl laughs)
Izzy: Give it a rest
Karl: Hey hey manners, I'm a customer.
Izzy: If you want something, then order it.
Karl: Well you know, I might have a piece of the tart.
Izzy: (turns round) Which one?
Karl: The sour one making the sandwiches.
Izzy: You are so pathetic.
Karl: Not quite as pathetic as you. Trying to get at me by upsetting my daughter.
Izzy: Oh Karl I don't know what's going on in your head, but I'm with Gus.
Karl: You know, they say the truth is revealed under pressure. Veritas Inextrimas. Like when you're stuck in a lift?
Izzy: That'll be five dollars, thanks.
Karl: You know Izzy you wanted me, as much as I wanted you. There's no point in denying that.
Izzy: (looking over Karl's shoulder) Can I get you anything Susan?
Karl: Ha ha, good on you.
Karl: (turns round) Susan!
Susan: No thanks. There's nothing here I want.
Episode 4472
Sindi: I nearly set fire to Isabelle Hoyland.
Susan: Good for you.
Episode 4631
Paul: What a homecoming.
Episode 4676
Susan: Well you’re gonna have to do something. Karl and I have a very long history. Does he still find me sexy? Gee, I don’t know. What does it mean when a man comes to your bedroom door in the middle of the night?
Episode 4764
Janelle: Oh Lyn Scully, I don’t like your clothes but I do like your style.
Episode 4769
Lou: If anyone wants me I'll be backpacking in Patagonia
Episode 4772
Susan: So once again Isabelle is the victim in this.
Karl: I’m going to put your hostility down to ignorance.
Susan: That’s just fine Karl. What do I put your ignorance down to?
Episode 4831
Susan: Hey!
Karl: Hi, I'm not interupting anything am I?
Susan: What exactly did you imagine I'd be up to?
Karl: Yeah, I don't like to think about that sort of thing, no, I just didn't want to intrude, that's all.
Susan: Nah, y'alright?
Karl: It's just this whole muck up day thing, I'm a bit y'know, edgy about it, it's got me spooked.
Susan: Woohoohoooo
Karl: Oh, it's alright for you, you've been there, you've done that. I don't know what to expect.
Susan: Expect anything, that's my advice.
Karl: Oh God, I might throw a sicky.
Susan: Oh, don't be such a wuss!
Karl: A w-wuss?!
Susan: Yes, you're a wuss, you are, y'know just stay alert, keep your sense of humour, ooh maybe bring some antibiotics, probably a pressure bandage, definately a towel.
Karl: Hysterical, you're not reassuring me here.
Susan laughs
Karl: So how are things here with Alex and everything, you coping?
Susan: Yeah I am, I'm ok.
Karl: Good. Good. You know that shoulder's always there if you need it.
Susan: Yeah, I do know. Thanks. D'you want a coffee?
Karl: No, no, I won't, I've got Rose Belker coming in for a check-up.
Susan: Rose Belker, that could take all day...
Karl: Tell me about it.
Susan: Am I going to see you at the year 12 dance tonight?
Karl: Erm, nah I might give that a miss I think.
Susan: Why??
Karl: Self-preservation.
Susan: Oh come on, they're not going to try anything at the dance.
Karl: Yeah, it's not the kids I'm worried about, it's the parents, with the Janae thing and...
Susan: Oh Karl, ancient history.
Karl: Is it?
Susan: Course it is if you want it to be, besides I need a date. You wouldn't knock me back would ya?
Karl: Wouldn't dream of it Suze.
Susan: (laughing) Check ya Doctor K.
Episode 4835
Karl: Much as the thought of being thousands of miles above the sea with you and Izzy for company appeals, I've got to go wash my hair
Episode 4836
Liljana: Oh my God!
David: What?
Liljana: There's just, nothing there.
David: Oh what, the man with no future hey?
Susan: Ha ha ha ha!
Episode 4836
Susan: Well...it's just a confined space with Isabelle Hoyland and a casino is just not my idea of a good time.
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Episode 4836
Liljana: Ta ta Tata
Episode 4839
Janelle: (to Karl) I reckon you & Susie would've made a ripper couple.
Episode 4872
Alex: Susan, you have brought me happiness that I never thought I'd feel again, and you have taught me what love truly is, and I will love you and honour and cherish you for every moment that we are together.
Susan: Alex, you were the most wonderful man I have ever known and every day with you has been a lifetime of love, and I will love you everyday for the rest of my life.
Episode 4932
Robert: I know you don't agree with me Cam, but somebody had to wipe that stupid grin off Paul's face. But I dunno, didn't really work for me did it? I mean, it was fun hearing about it and everything, but what's the point in using fireworks, when you're not around to see 'em all go off? Problem is, Elle and dad are never gonna welcome me into Erinsborough. Not like they would the golden boy. So, sorry about the accident, but trust me, once I rock up as Cam you'll be cacking yourself. Finishing the job's going to be so much easier, and I have front row seats to enjoy the show.
Episode 4938
Angie: Big Kev is giving his old lady the horn!
Episode 4938
Big Kev (to Connor): I'm sorry son, I'm still having a bit of trouble with your Scotch lingo.
Episode 4964
Karl: Twenty thousand dollar watch and your son goes and sells it!
Max: What?
Karl: Yes, on something he just had to buy. What do we think that might be? Like, a fleet of motorised skate boards perhaps, or a part share in a gymnasium, maybe a store full of tight pink polo shirts!?!?
Episode 4975
Karl: So you're all alone?
Susan: Oh that's fine. I've got Audrey and, as you know, Dahl's a brilliant conversationalalist.
Karl: Yeah well I could stay.
Susan: Oh yeah, what would you tell Jenny? You're going to stay with your ex wife cos her sheep's dying?
Karl: No, because our sheep's dying.
(long pause)
Karl: So... should I stay?
Susan: It'd be good.
Episode 4990
Paul: If I hear one more chorus of "That Gooey Chewey Sticky Stuff", I'm going to chop off my other leg and beat myself to death with it.
Episode 4995
Susan
(To Karl whilst they're trying to move the lamb away from
a snake): You distract that and I'll grab the lamb.
Karl: How do you suggest I distract
it? Sing it a song?
Susan: Well...that's one way
to kill it I suppose.
Episode 4997
Mishka: May diarrhoea strike you down!
Episode 5003
Lyn: Errm, I just wanted you to know, y'know, that I'll take care of everything to do with work until you're back on your feet.
Paul: Foot.
Episode 5013
Paul: I have been shot before you know.
Episode 5015
Stingray: I brought you some magazines - bodybuilding, wrestling and cross-stitch.
Sky: Oh they're bizarre, thank you!
Episode 5032
Izzy: So, how about Lyn & Paul?
Steph: Why don't you just let it go?
Izzy: What? In denial? How innocent?
Max: Can we just talk about this at home?
Steph: Well let's not talk about it at all, considering it's insane.
Izzy: They've both admitted it to me.
Steph: That's a load of bull, Izzy, my mum would never lower herself to be with him. You'd have to be a two-faced spiderwoman to go there.
Max: Hey, maybe you should talk to her yourself, we should all get our facts straight before we say anything.
Steph: This is just great, just great! Y'know, I've only been home a minute and already you're sticking up for your nutcase sister.
Izzy: Erm, I prefer unhinged.
Episode 5035
Izzy: I lied. I did spend the night with Karl. In his bed.
Episode 5038
Susan: Oh yes, you’re both a couple of saints. You tripped on your halos and accidentally fell into bed together.
Episode 5048
Paul: I made a promise to a living son, not a dead one.
Episode 5051
Janelle: There's a name for that where I come from
Harold: Yes... adultery!
Janelle: What! No! A scrag!
Episode 5058
Loris (to Janelle): You may prefer the delights of gutters and flophouses but can you think of your children?
Episode 5135
Max: Have I gone mad again or is Janelle kissing a copper?
Episode 5138
Janae: I had to hitch-hike Toadie. HITCH HIKE! Do you know what happens to girls as pretty as me when we do that?
Episode 5158
Oliver: (about Pepper and Rosie) Do you think they'll start sharing a room now they're together?
Carmella: I hope so, I'm sick of sleeping in that broom cupboard. If Rosie's coming out of the closet, then so am I!
Episode 5173
Pepper: She's got great dresses though, Elle. She seems to have a new one like every week. I wonder where she gets them from? Some place evil, I suppose...
Episode 5175
Stingray: Cop ya.
Episode 5189
Susan: Tom, things have changed in the last 3 years. I've been widowed. I'm now a stepmother to his two teenage kids and just a few weeks ago, I married again.
Episode 5306
Valda: (to Lou) You disappeared this morning faster than an oyster down a Frenchman's gob!
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Episode 5255
Janelle: I just wanna finish by saying that this is just a bunch of houses, side by side but it’s more than that. It’s really special and it’s you guys that make it special. And gosh – I’m gonna miss it. Better than a caravan park!
Episode 5261
Oliver: (to newlyweds Rosie and Frazer) May your love endure beyond the last sunset.
Episode 5270
Sky: Growing up on the farm with dad, I was on my own planet. But here I learnt how to be part of the human race. And it was hard, it was really hard, being the odd one out. But you all showed me that it's a great thing and it's nothing to be ashamed of. So I guess all I can say is thank you because I wouldn't be the person I am today without any of you. And me Boyd and Kerry are gonna miss you so much.
Last Updated: 5th February 2008
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