Title: Swindler's List
Harold becomes over-anxious when Dylan wants to take Kerry out. Janelle and Steiger share a kiss during their camping trip. Paul tells Pepper that he’s going to play by his own rules in order to win Rosie.
At number 26, Janelle and Steiger have been watching Dirty Harry and she thought it was great, but Steiger thinks that Magnet Force is equally as good. He suggests that they meet up the following week to watch the final three parts of that, then goes to leave. Janelle, however, stops him, suggesting that he stays a while longer. He claims to have an early start and, besides, it’s a bit soon to be having ‘sleepovers’, especially with the kids around. Janelle points out that they won’t be doing much sleeping, before climbing on top of Steiger and doing her Dirty Harry impression, asking him “Do you feel lucky, punk?”
The next morning, in the middle of Ramsay Street, Pepper has gathered Paul and Frazer in the middle of the street, to assess their progress so far. She tells Paul that his first date was a complete disaster, because he took his eye off the ball in the last quarter. Paul says that at least he did better than Frazer. Pepper explains that Frazer was always the underdog, but he didn’t give up. For the next date, she makes them pick straws, longest straw goes first. Neither of them wants to go first, but eventually they just grab at the straws and Frazer has the longest. He wants to go last, but Pepper says that she can’t change the rules. Frazer walks back into the house, as Pepper has a word with Paul about his strategy, telling him that Rosie is bored with the money and the ‘Paul Robinson thing’. She suggests he show her a side that nobody else sees. As this is all going on, a teenage boy is watching them from the bushes at the end of the street.
At number 26, Janelle is ironing Steiger’s shirt for work when Bree and Dylan come in from the bedrooms. Janelle is surprised to see them up so early and tries to stop them from going in the kitchen, but it’s too late and they find Steiger in there, wearing Janelle’s dressing gown. Bree and Dylan are stunned, as he offers to make some breakfast for them. He explains that he’s very fond of ‘Timmins’ and Janelle says that she’s very fond of ‘Steiger’ but the kids are still too shocked to speak. Steiger says that they’re happy together, but he’s not planning to take the place of their father and they’re just going to see how things pan out. He goes to take a shower, telling them to call him Allan from now on. Janelle runs to check on the iron, before deciding that she’ll join Steiger in the shower, and Bree and Dylan’s shocked expressions turn to pure horror.
At number 30, Rosie explains to Pepper that she’s making a list of Paul and Frazer’s pros and cons, hoping to take the emotion out of the whole process. Pepper reads them and realises that if she’s bothered by Frazer’s noisy eating, then her own fussiness might prove to be a bigger problem. Rosie thinks that this is the only way she’ll be able to make a decision, but Pepper points out that there’s also the physical side of things. Rosie is worried that they might not be compatible, but Pepper says that if she finds the right person, everything will be fine. Pepper points out that Frazer was gentle and giving when she slept with him, and he wasn’t even in love with her. But Paul is an unknown quantity. Rosie suddenly asks if she’d be treading on Pepper’s toe by choosing Paul, but Pepper denies it and points out that this is about Rosie, not her.
At number 22, Pepper is showing Paul his list of cons, at which point Paul asks if she’s made her decision. Pepper says that she has, as there was no cons list for Frazer. Paul reads that he’s manipulative, bratty and only has one leg… he wants to be sure that there isn’t a similar list for Frazer. Pepper insists that there isn’t one, hoping that Paul will now pull out of the race. Paul decides that this list means that he’s now gotten under Rosie’s skin and he needs to plan their next date very carefully.
Outside, Steiger is leaving for work, telling her that he’ll be gone for hours – ‘join the force, get a divorce’ or so they say. They both spot Pepper coming out of Paul’s house and wonder what she’s doing hanging around with him. He goes over to her and points out how many criminal investigations Paul’s been at the centre of, but Pepper says that he’s never actually been charged, unlike Janelle and her family of petty criminals. Steiger says that the Timmins family have cut a few corners, but they’ve learnt their lessons. Pepper says that Steiger was the one who told her to stop chasing perfect men, so Paul is ideal and if he’s going to see Janelle, then she can see whoever she wants. As Pepper walks away, Janelle says that it’s good to see someone else whose kids pay no attention to them.
At number 30, Zeke is cleaning the kitchen when he finds Rosie’s list and is reading it as Frazer arrives home. He asks if Zeke’s been snooping and wants to have a look when Zeke claims that it’s Pepper’s poetry. Frazer grabs it and reads Rosie’s list. He reads his cons – he dresses conservatively and is superficial. Zeke points out that his pros are that he’s funny and has good hair, but Frazer points out that she also thinks that he spends too long styling it. They can’t find Paul’s list of faults and Frazer continues looking at his own cons – he’s a noisy eater and he wears v-neck sweaters and he has suspiciously large feet. Just then, Zeke spots the kid who was watching them earlier, looking in the window. He runs off, but Frazer is too worried about the list to scare about the prowler.
At number 24, Zeke is telling Harold to be on the lookout for the prowler when he spots Willow in the room. Harold explains that it’s Tazzle, a stray that he adopted, but Zeke insists that it’s the cat he gave to Bree for Christmas. Harold points out that Bree has been over to visit several times and seen Tazzle and didn’t say anything, so there’s no question about it. As Zeke leaves, Dylan arrives to take Kerry up to see Sky. Harold isn’t sure about letting Kerry go, as she slept badly and needs some time at home, but Dylan insists that she can sleep in the car. Harold asks how long he’ll be, but Dylan isn’t sure. He then spots some brochures for schools on the kitchen bench and Harold explains that he and Sky want her to have the best start and need to organise things as soon as possible. Dylan isn’t impressed with the idea, but says that he needs to go now. Harold asks him to drive carefully.
At number 26, Janelle is looking at some of the applications to make her bust and isn’t very impressed. Bree asks why she isn’t just looking at the photos now, but Janelle explains that now she’s with Steiger, she doesn’t need a spunky sculptor, but someone who’ll make her look good. Bree wonders if anyone’s that talented. Zeke then turns up, wondering how Willow is. Bree explains that she just let him out in the garden, and Zeke gets upset saying that she should keep him in the house for the first few weeks and he doesn’t know what he’d do if Willow ran away – it would be like losing their first child. Bree runs off outside, as Zeke is left smiling to himself.
Dylan pulls over in his car as he can’t seem to get Kerry to stop crying. He checks whether she’s hungry or needs changing, but no. She continues to cry and he gets out and calms down for a moment. He then tries to entertain her with stuffed animals, but this also fails.
At the bar, Steiger is with some other officers, as Rosie and Pepper come in. Rosie wishes that her date with Frazer was over with already, and Paul overhears. He tries to talk to Rosie, but is stopped by Pepper. Janelle then comes in and says hi to Steiger, who explains to the other officers that he needs to go and ‘deal with Mrs Timmins’. Janelle is horrified and asks if he’s ashamed to be seen with her. Steiger points out that he’s in uniform, but Janelle reminds him that she ironed it. She says that she’s been dealing with grief from the Colac girls for dating a cop, and now she’s just been brushed off. She walks off and Paul approaches her and points out that he can’t blame Steiger, as he has a reputation to uphold and Janelle is just a hairdresser and teenage mum. She reminds him that she’s also the part owner of the complex. As she goes to leave, he offers to buy her out of Lassiter’s and shows her a cheque for $1 million.
At number 24, Bree is visiting Harold and is helping him to fold the laundry. He asks if this little visit is because Zeke spotted Willow there and she admits that it was a Christmas present but she couldn’t tell him that she hates cats. Harold isn’t keen on handing Tazzle over to someone who won’t love him. Dylan then comes in with Kerry, who is still crying. Harold says that he did warn him that she would be grizzly today. He then tells Bree that he’ll consider returning Tazzle later, but she has made number 24 her home now. Bree is grateful and leaves, as Harold tells Dylan that Kerry is most comfortable at home when she’s feeling under the weather. Dylan apologises for making things worse, but says that he’s still learning. Harold reminds him that he does have more experience and hopefully Dylan will take his advice from now on.
At number 30, Zeke is cleaning the oven when Pepper asks if he’d like to join her for a swim. He ignores her and Pepper asks what’s wrong. He admits that he’s done something silly and explains that he found Rosie’s lists and showed them to Frazer. He explains that Frazer has now given up on winning Rosie. Pepper is stunned and starts staring off, contemplating the idea of Paul and Rosie together. Zeke snaps her out of it and she says that Zeke’s going to have to fix this whole mess.
At number 26, Janelle is contemplating Paul’s offer when Dylan gets back. She asks why he’s home early and he says that Kerry was crying and he took her back to Harold, then she settled down straight away. He begins to worry that she’s never going to be comfortable around him and then Sky will meet someone else and he’ll never be able to be a proper father. The conversation is interrupted by a knock at the door, it’s Steiger with a bunch of apology flowers. She slams the door in his face, and tells Bree and Dylan that she’s gotta make him earn her back.
Frazer is waiting in the rotunda, wearing a round neck t shirt and reading the newspaper, when Rosie arrives for the date. She apologises for being late and he says that it’s fine and tells her that they’re having a picnic there by the lake. He says that he had hoped to keep it simple and then starts eating his sandwich, trying to be quiet as he does so. He tries to make conversation about the situation in the Middle East and Rosie asks if everything’s ok. She says that he doesn’t seem like himself. Zeke then runs over and says that he needs to talk to Frazer about a school project. He says that he has to interview someone he admires and since Frazer is “intelligent, a man of substance and style”, it has to be him. Frazer tells Zeke to drop it and then he apologises to Rosie – he can’t be something he’s not – he’s bored by politics, he wears suits and it takes him ages to do his hair. If Rosie doesn’t like it, then that’s fine.
Zeke walks across the park, then he spots the kid who was looking in the window earlier. He chases him and manages to rugby tackle him to the ground. They start fighting as Harold comes over and breaks it up. Zeke thinks the kid was casing the area to rob them all. The other kid runs off, as Harold stops Zeke from giving chase.
At the bar, Rosie comes in and finds Frazer, who walks off. He then hands her the list and tells her he had no idea how judgemental she was. She’s shocked, but says that he wasn’t supposed to see the list, it was just her way of working things out in her head. He says that he doesn’t care and, as Rosie tries to apologise, Paul walks in. Frazer says that this whole competition is wrong and he wants nothing more to do with it.
Regular Cast Credits
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